4th of July 1953: Mary Eleven

Interesting developments at the [One]’s American Independence Day Party.

First things first: The penis situation with Agent Nuke was under control.^[1]

Second thing: The feud between Mrs. [Twelve] and Mrs. [One] continues. Mrs. [Twelve] offended Mrs. [One] several times during this party.

1. Coming to the party at the wrong time.
2. Not bringing a side dish.
3. Bringing a substitute side dish with fish.
4. Asking for her husband to be allowed to sleep in the guest room.

Boomer has worked to mend the feud. It is important that Mrs. [Twelve] not be scared away, since again we suspect she is an agent of Mossad. Her Zionist ways are obvious. Both Mrs. [Twelve] and Mrs. [One] see Boomer as a friend, though Mrs. [One] is the more attached one of the two.

Third thing: Unlike previously, Mrs. [Two] has become agitated at the suggestion that her husband murdered Dean Pettyson. This combined with Mr. [Two]’s articles praising Joseph McCarthy while his predecessor defamed him, paint an interesting picture. Of course, McCarthy is a Soviet asset, but we did not hear that there was an assassination ordered on Dean Pettyson. We will continue to monitor this situation.

The final and most important thing: Dr. Johan Engelbert. He said that he is starting a “seminar,” where married American women will receive “counseling” and “vitamin shots.” Several strange things about this.

1. He has only pitched this to the twelve families in this cul de sac and he was insistent that all twelve housewives in the cul de sac join in.
2. He pitched this just a week before the seminar is set to begin.
3. He was vague about what the counseling and vitamin shots consisted of.
4. This seminar will take an entire month.
5. We will be isolated in rural western Maryland, in an area called Deep Creek Lake.
6. He has enough money to give each of the families $30, on top of paying for maid service and child care.
7. Why is he doing this experiment on white upper-middle class women and not working class women in Puerto Rico?
8. Most worryingly, this is being run by a Nazi. We cannot stress this enough.

We suspect this is a plot by the Enemy government. However, if we do not participate, we will not only look suspicious, we will not find out what is going on. Agent Boomer will have to attend this seminar. She will likely have to answer questions about her childhood in the counseling, but we are preparing for that. She has a background living as the adopted daughter of a government official in rural Saskatchewan, similar to her background as the adopted daughter of a government official in rural Ukraine. She has also read Anne of Green Gables. Anne of Green Gables does take place in Prince Edward Island; but Americans know so little about Canada, and a German immigrant will know less.

Agent Marmalade will take care of Agent Nuke while Agent Boomer is away.

In conclusion, Nf3. Your move.