Psychological Profile: Betty One

Code Name: Betty One
Birth Chart: Sun in Virgo, Ascendant in Libra, Moon in Pisces (September 11, 1915 6:06 AM Milwaukee, Wisconsin) ^[1]
Height: 5’7”
Weight: 140
Hair Color: Strawberry blonde
Eye Color: Blue

Psychological Profile Questions:

What is your earliest memory?

In the first interview, the subject reported that she tripped while walking in the parlor of the farmhouse. Her elder sister scooped her up and comforted her and the subject called her “mama.”. Her elder sister told her she wasn’t the mama, and instead it was the older woman with the frightening scowl. The subject reports her elder sister was only ten years older than her and repeatedly asserted the interviewer that the elder sister was not her actual biological mother.

The second interview confirms this memory.

How did you feel about your mother?

In the first interview, the subject praised her mother as an industrious German-American icon. The subject’s mother got the subject’s father to convert from Lutheranism to Catholicism, which the subject empathized was “the one true faith and a more rewarding one.” Her mother made sure their dairy farm was prosperous, even during the agricultural economic downturn of the 1920s. The farmhouse was spotless and the table covered in delicious cakes and pies at all times. The subject insists that if every mother was like her mother, the United States would never have to worry about Communism.

In the second interview, the subject said her mother was an ugly, squat, fat woman with a face like a stretched oval. The subject’s mother always disapproved of everything the subject did, and the elder sister would have to defend the subject. The subject’s mother openly loved the elder sister better, praising the elder sister’s looks and feminine, gentle personality. The subject’s mother said the subject would go to Hell for the subject’s errant ways and would never get to see her elder sister again.

How did you feel about your father?

In the first interview, the subject praised her father as an Adonis with a tall, wiry figure, strawberry- blonde hair, and a long mustache. Like a Viking commanding his thralls, One’s father guided the farmhands and milkmaids that worked his farm. He converted to Catholicism from Lutheranism. And again, the subject insisted that Catholicism made better sense and Martin Luther completely misunderstood the meaning of St. Augustine’s works.

In the second interview, the subject complained her father was an erratic man, prone to temper tantrums, depression, and delusions of grandeur that could only be managed by the subject’s mother. The subject’s father was as strict a disciplinarian as the subject’s mother. The subject really only received affection from the elder sister. The subject’s father said none of his three children should consider themselves better than their siblings or other children., But like the subject’s mother, he clearly considered the elder sister to be the best of his children.

When did you realize you were a little girl?

In the first interview, the subject claimed she always knew she was a little girl and it would be ridiculous for her to not think of herself as a little girl.

In the second interview, the subject said when she was five, her family went to see a play in Milwaukee, her first professional theatrical production. The subject reported the play was called Svengali and it was about a Jewish banker with a twisty mustache who plans to foreclose on a farm unless the beautiful daughter breaks off her engagement with her blonde fiancé and marries him instead. However, the fiancé raises enough money to pay off the mortgage and marry the beautiful daughter. The subject apparently believes this is the plot of Svengali. After the play, the subject told her family she wished to grow a mustache like the Jewish banker in the play. The subject’s family told her she would never grow a mustache since she was a little girl. The subject was confused since in the previous theatrical production she had seen, Peter Pan at the Catholic girls boarding school she would later attend, a girl playing Captain Hook/Mr. Darling had facial hair. Her elder sister told her that was just pretend hair. The subject started to cry and was inconsolable, even by her beloved elder sister.

What did you think of boys growing up?

In the first interview, the subject said she played with the boys often as a child, but she grew out of that on puberty. As a teen-ager in Los Angeles, she dated boys in a normal and chaste fashion, but she was mostly focused on her modeling and acting career.

In the second interview, the subject said she tried to compete with the boys and they would laugh at her and mock her. The subject was overweight as a child. And before puberty, it seemed she would have her mother’s height. She was not good at boyish skills, except for marksmanship, at which she excelled. As a teen-ager, she often went on dates with older men to help her career.

What is your earliest sexual memory?

In her first interview, she said she could not possibly think about her first sexual memory. She has no clue when that was.

In her second interview, she said her elder sister was giving her a bath. Her elder sister’s blouse got wet, so she took it off. At that moment, the subject bit her elder sister’s nipple.

How did you learn about sex?

In her first interview, the subject said she learned about sex when she was six years old and the subject’s mother became pregnant with her third and last child. The subject was curious about this natural process and went to her elder sister for information. The elder sister explained it was “the same process as what happened with the bulls and cows on the farm.” The subject asked if the elder sister would “get pregnant in the future and need to be milked.” The elder sister said she would not get pregnant until she was married, as she was a good Catholic girl, and the subject would be a good Catholic girl too. “Nobody would be milked.”

In the second interview, the subject also remembered that one time during the Christmas season, she discovered her mother performing oral sex on her father while he cried that he was doomed. She tried asking her elder sister about this, but their father overheard and yelled at her that he would never do anything as sinful and disgusting as that.

When did you first learn about homosexuality?

In the first interview, the subject said that since homosexuality is completely unknown in the state of Wisconsin, she did not know about homosexuality until several years after she moved to Los Angeles. The subject met a makeup artist, who was an open homosexual, and she was disgusted.

In the second interview, the subject said when she was ten, her father complained that the Norwegians called him Skinkerytter ^[2]. The subject asked what that meant, and he yelled at her that it meant a man who put his “piss pipe up the asses of little boys and make them a Skinkerytter”. The subject’s father then yelled at the subject for forcing him to use vulgar language and embarrass himself.

What were your sexual fantasies as an adolescent?

In the first interview, the subject claimed to have no sexual fantasies as a child.

In the second interview, the subject said she would go on picnics with her elder sister and her elder sister’s fiancé. The subject would fall asleep and dream of the elder sister and the fiancé consummating their mutual attraction on the riverbank. Even after her elder sister died and her fiancé became a monk, the subject would fantasize about those two having sex.

How did you lose your virginity?

In the first interview, the subject said she lost her virginity to her husband on her wedding night after a proper Catholic wedding.

In the second interview, the subject said it was when she was thirteen years old and she was visiting her elder sister’s fiancé after the funeral of her elder sister. They were together upstairs in his room and he was crying. She comforted him, and they talked about how beautiful and loving the elder sister was. The fiancé said he had convinced the elder sister that her calling was to be a mother and not a nun. But now that the elder sister was dead, he saw no choice but to be a monk. Then the fiancé turned on the subject and kissed her, and reportedly the subject let him since she had been in love with him for a long time. He then took her virginity. The subject remarked in detail on her first sexual partner’s profuse crying, grief, and guilt. Attention should be paid to this. The subject does not consider this to be rape and has not told her parents or anyone else.

What do you think about when you touch yourself?

In the first interview, the subject said that while she was not one of those heretical Protestants who think human perfectibility is possible in anyone but the Virgin Mary and Jesus Christ, she does not resort to the sin of onanism. The subject said she would not have any idea what she would even fantasize about, since if she has any carnal needs, she could consummate them with her lawful husband.

In the second interview, the subject said that she fantasizes about a multitude of scenarios. In one such fantasy, she gains an amulet that allows her to see hidden Communists, homosexuals, and Jews. She blackmails Senator Joseph McCarthy into having sex with her in order to gain this amulet. This amulet also gives any woman who wears it a penis, whereas every man that wears it gains a larger penis. In another fantasy, Five lectures the subject on the civil rights of Communists while the subject makes love to Five’s husband. In yet another fantasy, the subject and her husband are tied in two chairs back to back. Twelve comes in wearing a Soviet army uniform and a riding crop. The neighbor then performs oral sex on the subject’s husband.

In addition, the subject has fantasized about the interviewer.

How do you feel about your parents now?

In the first interview, the subject said she loved her parents and her parents love her.

In her second interview, the subject said her parents still do not respect her. Though she supported their failing ice cream parlor business with her modeling and acting and she has married a good man and had two children, that is not enough. The subject does not think they even love her.

Do you feel you married the right person?

In her first interview, the subject said she lost all sexual attraction to her husband halfway through her honeymoon. The subject hates the touch of her husband and only puts up with it on fertile days for the chance for more children. However, her husband does not want more children and has not touched her in a long time. The subject is also disgusted that he lost his re-election and has given up hope for politics. The subject’s husband is not even very industrious with his private lawyer practice. Often times the household needs money from his family to stay afloat. Still, the subject says she is not like Protestant quitters who bail on a marriage at the first, second, or third sign of trouble. Annulment is out of the question. The subject will go to Heaven as Mrs. One. Mr. One is her lawful husband. Her master, just like Jesus Christ is the master of the Church.

In the second interview, the subject confirmed it was a mistake to marry her husband and there are other people the subject would rather marry.

Do you ever wish you were the husband?

In the first interview, the subject said that she could do a better job at being her husband than her husband. The subject said she might not have gone to law school, but she could charm people better than he could. The subject claimed to have a much better sense of strategy than him and she was the one who got him elected state senator in the first place, not his drinking buddy campaign manager. The subject said that if female politicians were not an unnatural novelty, the subject would run for office herself. However, the subject believes the best thing a woman can do in politics is be a gracious hostess for her politician husband. The subject has learned from life that men respect a good wife more than they respect even the best female politician.

In the second interview, the subject said she coveted her husband’s large penis and inquired on the penis size of others.