4th of July 1953: Rose Eight

Note from Gabriel Talman: I am having someone proofread this for AAVE but the proofreader was delayed. The grammar in this might change from the initial posting, but the content will be the same.

Dear Auntie Sugar,

I done escaped the confines of my house today and gone to a fourth of July shindig at the queen bitch Betty [One]’s house. She decided instead of a garden, she’d have a pool. I think gardens look better and are more fun to maintain, but I do love having a neighbor with a pool.

Now, I got some big news about what happened at that party, but I know you want to hear how all the honeys dressed. Here it be:

Me: That sapphire blue dress with silver buttons going all the way down over a rose-colored swimsuit. Don’t worry, it be a girly day for me.
[One]: A vertical-striped, red-white-blue dress over vertical-striped, periwinkle-white-and-pink swimsuit, with no straps and a structured bust, pink cat’s eye shades.
[Two]: Hawaiian shirt and white Capri pants over a white-with-black-polka-dot swimsuit.
[Three]: White blouse with embroidered marigolds, indigo peasant skirt, orange-and-green-triangles swimsuit.
[Four]: Blue-checked cotton kimono, white swimsuit with black crane design.
[Five]: White t-shirt, khaki skirt, red swimsuit with white accents.
[Six]: Denim shirt and denim skirt, but then wore this pink swimsuit with lots of bows and frills.
[Seven]: A white sundress with little embroidered roses over a white swimsuit with a modesty skirt.
[Nine]: Daring two-piece swimsuit, with purple and black horizontal stripes, and she didn’t come to the party in a cover up! You finna saw Betty’s face. Roxy looked so sexy and adorable.
[Ten]: Gray playsuit over a gray modest swimsuit.
[Eleven]: Red-and-blue plaid blouse and navy skirt over a patriotic American flag swimsuit with silver buttons.
[Twelve]: House dress with yellow flowers, over what looked to be a school-issued swimsuit.

I know you ain’t interested much in what the men are wearing, but something was going on with Mr. [Eleven]. He wore long pants to the party and didn’t swim. Funny.

So anyway, there was finna be this clown show, a stage was set up in the few parts of the backyard not dedicated to pool (there would be more space in my backyard), when it done rained on us. We all went to the basement while the chillun went to watch the show in the parlor. Now, Dr. Engelbert was there, he’s the ex-Nazi doctor, who I swear is a secret Jew. I know you think I be crazy but it takes a thief to catch a thief and besides I caught you. Anyway, he started talking about this self-improvement seminar in the woods for all the wives. I wasn’t that into the idea, but then my husband stands up and demands that he get paid as compensation. I done feel like I was back before Juneteenth, let me tell you. Then Roxy got excited about the idea because I was finna going. She bounced up and down with her big titties flying about. It was so adorable, but I knew I had to let her down.

When the rain cleared, Roxy and me stole away to the poolhouse to kiki in private. It smelled like weed and mildew and barely lit. I told her that I could not risk having an affair. My husband ain’t ignorant of the existence of lesbians. If he found out, the least he could do is kill me. He also could divorce me, and tell the court I am a degenerate woman, and leave me penniless and without kids.

You know, after my momma died, all her money was split between the Mafia and her funeral, with only just enough left to buy me a bus ticket to Florida. I told her I ain’t gonna end up like that again.

Sure, he’s a sodomite, but he a respectable businessman, and I am an octoroon bartender; it’d be his word against mine. (I didn’t tell her the octoroon part, but she do know he is a fag.)

And there be her husband to worry about, he already hired a private dick to check up on her. Only so many strikes she can get. Still, she looked at me with those big hazel eyes so I gave her a kiss goodbye and rejoined our families.
My husband was busy drinking rum and opining on that. He done say it be his only vice to hide his other vices.

Well, I ain’t gonna have a love affair on this trip that Roxy wants us to have, but it will be nice to spend a month out of my house. I do worry about the garden, but Susie says she’ll take care of it, and Leia^[1] can help her, though she is a helpless cause.

Aunt Ruth will have to find someone else to feed off of when I am gone. I guess [Mr. Eight] will bring home homeless boys for two purposes. However, I think Mr. [Eight] be fixing to seduce Jake [Five].

He told me, “yeah, you’d like it if I had an affair with a respectable and extremely manly married man, so the court would forget you’re an octoroon. But he ain’t my type.”

But I don’t believe what he say no more. I can forget my slave master for a month. Slavery days do be over and we is allowed the pursuit of happiness.

Hugs and kisses to everyone at the Hidden Cove Inn,
Yellow Rose of Florida