Moving In: Martha Twelve

The Northern Virginia subdivision where this experiment would take place had recently been built and was ready for the Spartan Housewives on February 9, 1953. Here are their letters and diaries from when they moved in.
Letter from Twelve to his British pen pal nicknamed Yorkie, dated February 10, 1953. Twelve had been exchanging letters with Yorkie ever since his junior high school did a pen pal program during the Blitz. The identity of Yorkie is still unknown.

Dear Yorkie,

I guess we’re real homos these days. ^[1] It was such a hassle buying a house but at least we didn’t pay for a well to be dug and fall to reach water only for our efforts in another spots to hit the payload. ^[2] Finally, we can move in and start living life.

Harry needs some rest and relaxation after what he went through in Korea. I still don’t think I understand what happened. The doctors say he is suffering a post-viral infection from that bug he got but some of these symptoms are very odd. How come he can’t come anymore? Well, I’m not a doctor. Harry complains that being in the suburbs won’t cure him but he’s not a doctor either. He’s just a wizard with radios.

I met my neighbor across the street today. Her name is Betty One. She’s this tall statuesque strawberry blonde with the perfect figure, incredibly beautiful. She might be prettier than that newcomer Grace Kelly, remember High Noon? ^[3] She’s also as graceful and refined as our lady from Philly. However, I think I really blew it with Wisconsin Grace Kelly. You know me, always putting my foot in my mouth. She was talking about her Hollywood career where she almost became a famous actor!! I had to brag that I had done some acting too when I snuck into a bathhouse. She was so horrified that I lied and said I only did it once and all I did was walk around. I couldn’t tell her I was sucking cock! Though also all I did was suck cock, I couldn’t do much more. Still, I discovered she’s really REALLY Catholic. Hopefully I make amends with her so she introduces me to Robert Mitchum. She was signed with RKO, after all.

I also meet Diane Two. She’s always making jokes and stuff. It seems like she and her sophisticated Ralph Belamy type husband Paul will be fun people to live with, but I am disturbed by Mr. Two’s boss committing suicide. Apparently it had something to do with Joseph McCarthy? In any case, Mr. Two got his column and bought a house with the pay raise. Diane says he deserves it after the years he put in working as a leg man for his boss.

Then there is the Five. They have been around the world so many times and I have barely been out of Queens. Jake Five is like Errol Flynn, except I am sure he is much more of gentleman around young ladies than that creep. Kath Five reminds me of some actress. June Allyson perhaps? I'll think up an answer by the next time I write. Anyway, the Fives are so interesting and I’m glad I’m living near them.

In other news, we’re getting a houseboy soon. Harry’s native guide Lee Dong-Jin has offered his services at a very cheap rate so we’ll be taking him up on it.

Well, a new neighborhood, a new life! I hope I can be a good husband to Harry. I keep thinking of Myrna Loy in the “Best Years of Our Lives”, trying to be the Perfect Wife. I don’t think I am cut out to be a wife. I’m not much of a girl, though I suppose all I can be in this moment is a girl. However, I must stick by Harry even if I’m not good at helping him. That’s what the Aspberger’s Army wants.^[4] Harry’s skill set is important to our mission.

At least my husband has an eight inch cock!^[5]

Dos vidaniya suckers!!!^[6]

Matty