Moving In: Diane Two
Found in Two’s notebook titled “Ideas for Parodies”, not dated but considered to be written February 9, 1953
Content Warning
Joking discussion of antisemitism and antiblackness
The Northern Virginia subdivision where this experiment would take place had recently been built and was ready for the Spartan Housewives on February 9, 1953. Here are their letters and diaries from when they moved in.
Found in Two’s notebook titled “Ideas for Parodies”, not dated but considered to be written February 9, 1953:
The New Musical that is Sweeping The Nation!
Everyone is raving about “The Suburbs”, the musical about leaving the crowded city life for peace and quiet and racial convents! Antisemites boast they can avoid Jews without looking like Hitler-lovers! No Negroes After Sundown, not even on the record player or radio! Nobody has ever even heard of Roberto Rossellini! Will Diane still be a hep cat in the countryside? Will her husband Paul lose his touch just as he has finally gotten his own column? What about Polly once she can’t go to the pansy bar? [1] Is it worth living in Northern Virginia if there isn’t any Pho yet? {Margin note: Must find out what Pho is} What of the toddler twins Paulie and Deedee?
The Suburbs! Starring:
Betty One - The Queen Bee, The Queen Something That Rhymes with Bitch - Not a Witch, she's Papist!
Bobby One - A Normal Man’s Idea of a Handsome Man! What’s more likely, a snow day in Hell or a Republican Catholic winning in Virginia!
Martha Twelve - America’s Girl Next Door, the Average One (aka ugly)
Harry Twelve - Not Appearing In This Musical
Jake Five - The Great White Hunter - when he isn't being kidnapped
Kath Five - Are the Calla Lillies in bloom in February?
Shirley Ten - Domo Arigato, Mrs. Roboto!
Dick Ten - Despite the name, a nice guy!
(must find gags for rest of cul de sac. cast should be downsized)
Can our beloved couple Paul and Diane find happiness? Will the prophesied Ringmaster who will one day take over the Circus ever arrive? It has been at least five minutes since the prophesy was spoken, when will it be fulfilled? [2]